• How it always should be

How it always should be when two people fall in love and choose each other to live together for the rest of their days. This is, in summary, today’s theme. But first, a little preamble...

In the long time gone year of 1650, a portuguese noble, D. Francisco Manuel de Mello, at the time arrested in prison, - some say because he felt in love to a countess who was the king’s mistress - wrote in a couple of months a treaty about life in matrimony. Thinking of another noble, friend of him, who had some doubts about how to always be happy in his recent marriage. This homely philosophy book would be named the “Carta de Guia de Casados”, which in english would be “Guide Letter to Married People”.

Today I’d like to unveil here in my blog an excellent article that I found  by chance! A perfect update to our days of this famous book, written according to the moral values of the 17th century, which at our present time would arouse a few (many) smiles. 

This article describes what - in my fair opinion, very similar to the one of the author - love relationships ideally should be. And I think it meant a lot to me while I was reading it also because of some enlightenment a fresh new friend of mine has brought me these last days, not being aware of it. 

This article was originally in portuguese. I took the trouble to translate it here to english, in order for it to reach a larger number of people around this world. So, here goes…

The New Energy and love relationships

We can see that more and more people have had difficulties in finding partners to share their lives.

Love relationships between couples are going through a big change.

Individuals are undergoing a major transformation. But many are still unaware of this, and are looking for relationships as they tried once, based on romanticism, depending on the control.

This type of relationship is based on fear and illusion. And all that is in the power of illusion and fear will no longer be able to sustain.

It's time to realize that each of us is an individual who has his own needs, which can not be met each other, but that must be met by ourselves, creating our own reality.

The other, our fellow traveler is someone who is there beside us simply giving support to our journey of self knowledge, he loves us unconditionally and is there beside us with everything he is also, so that we can know best and love the most. So one is the biggest supporter of the other to find their own essence.

A companion is someone who is there simply witnessing you giving your steps toward what you really came to BE on earth.

He honors you for everything that you are. Feeling no need whatsoever to control your life.

So one is for the other a witness present, and one and the other can go on rediscovering and building what we can call the three dimensions of heaven on earth.

Also note: it is not necessary that you find a person who likes whatever you also like, who is exactly like you, and that has the same search in life. True love includes accepting and respecting differences, realizing that the other can be exactly as he/she is, and it does not prevent you from being who you are. You are the one who needs to learn to get in touch with your personal power and support your choices in your life, do what drives you, what gives you joy of living. The other will do what is important to him/her. And one can indeed learn from the living to love more and more himself. Then love will be more and more intense in the relationship itself.

It is necessary to release the control of ego illusions, requirements, romanticism-based relationship.

We need to drop the conquest of the other, which is not an animal to be trapped in your bait.

One must realize that what you demand so much is already in himself, and will never find it on someone else.

Relationships based on primary needs create dependency, trap the being, cause suffering.

You must understand that you are not a victim of the world but yourself create these relationships suffering for your own.

There are other possibilities available. Open up to them.

 - Kátia Patrícia P. B. Silveira

Source: Penso Positivo Movement website (in portuguese)